I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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