does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
