so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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