I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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