I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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