I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
