STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
