Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You can't just leave with hair like that
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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