Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
