Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
