I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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