I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
