I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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