im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
