well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
