how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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