All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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