forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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