I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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