I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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