She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
