I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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