how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
