that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
