his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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