I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We have started to decorate penises.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
