you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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