WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So vagazzling was a success
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
