You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
