This girl is more easily done than said...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
