Nicole vs. Life
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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