Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize