I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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