she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize