he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
