6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
and you fell through a lawn chair
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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