Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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