Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
