he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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