The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
