So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
