we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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