So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
