meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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