it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
