i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
