Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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