omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Your penis caused this!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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