Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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