Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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