tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
