You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
