How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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