I heard we made out
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
