As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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