i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
