My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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