No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
