i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
